Carter-
You are now seven weeks old. Time has been flying, but not as much as some other things.
You see, your mother and I have had some issues in containing your– how do I put this–poops. Here is a quick list of places they have ended up:

The carpet
The changing table
The wastebasket
Your Grandma Bottrell’s wicker cabinet
The ceiling [...]

Remember when we played hangman in that history class and I picked the word zucchini? Then you had guessed 24 letters, had _ucchini… and all that was left was B and Z and your next guess was B?