Business idea: I will open a nationwide chain of quick lube places named, “We Will Only Change Your Oil & Not Ask You To Purchase $150 Worth Of Unnecessary Fluid Flushes & Air Filters Marked Up 500%”.

Seasonal beer drinkers who comment that the batch “this year” is better/worse.

If the number of doors I hold open for you is greater than 1 and distance between doors is under a 10 second walk then the number of “thank you”’s shall not exceed 1.

This makes me concerned only for the first three years we were together.